The Corona Chronology: Day 27

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Once upon a time, in the land of Pandemic Trumpmerica, members of the Association of Republican Governors with No Soul had a meeting. The topic? How to re-open their states in the quickest way possible in order to maybe, possibly get a quick pat on the head from Big Daddy Trump. After all, the main objective of the Republican Party at that time was to do what’s best for Lord Jesus Trump and not what’s good for the country. The meeting went something like this…

They threw out any documentation that involved science in any way, because science was invented by the Democrats and cannot be trusted. (The Earth is flat, I tell you. Flat!) They tossed aside urgent recommendations from actual health experts which outlined the best time to re-open, because those recommendations did not fit the timeline that clueless Big Daddy was spouting in his vapid, oxygen-deprived Twitter feed. (Never trust doctors or smart people!) They didn’t even bother to read any think-piece on the morality of the situation, because morals don’t get you a pat on the head from Big Daddy Dump. (It’s all about me, not about you.)

Eventually and rather quickly, the governors defiantly decided to roll their moral-less marbles and throw open the doors, never understanding or caring that those marbles affected lives and livelihoods. Some of those governors were reelected. Some of them were not. Some hospitals exceeded capacity. Some did not. Some cemeteries ran out of final resting spaces. Some did not. Some people claimed victory, but in the end, nobody won. Because rolling marbles for lives is never a good game.

This parable has been sent to you from the future. Because the writer had the good sense to keep his ass at home until science and health experts and morality agreed that it was okay to open the door. It’s not about me, it’s about everybody.